We are made to feel a range of emotions and they do not all feel good. Toxic positivity has been on my mind lately. What even is toxic positivity? Well, it is when positive thinking becomes the be all and do all answer to everything. It negates negative thinking or expressing negative emotions. Think of phrases such as “it could be worse”, “everything happens for a reason”, or “it’s God’s will”.

Our emotions are felt in our bodies and no amount of toxic positivity is going to help process them. Instead, we can acknowledge our feelings, become curious about where they reside in us, and recognize we are not the only ones feeling this way.

I did not sleep well last night so it was no surprise when I woke up this morning full of angst. When I get like this my mind sounds a bit like:

-It’s over 100 degrees in Britain and most do not have A/C, freaking climate change

-How could almost 400 police officers be at a school with an active shooter and screaming children for over an hour doing nothing. Why are we so numb to this?

-What can I do to help in the Roe situation? Are we going into a situation where women will not be able to travel between states?

-Should we move? Are my girls in danger living in Florida?

These thoughts came in rapid succession over a minute or so. I could try to give myself a boost of positive thinking but, these are real concerns I have and I do not want to negate them.

Instead, I snuggled with the dog, watered my plants, drank my coffee, and had a short yoga practice.

After a brief 15 minute practice I made room in my body for these emotions to reside while feeling my general sense of happiness come back to life.

The thing is, I am generally a happy person as well as being a deeply feeling person. Often these things are in conflict.

Where I once might have tried to lean more on happiness, I now know that there is room for both and it is okay. In fact, I prefer it this way.

With angst and happiness-

Susan

Last night, I taught a yoga class for a group of women who mean the world to me. Over the last two years, I have seen what can happen when women realize their inherit self-worth. They become unstoppable.

After today, we are going to need every single woman to put aside distractions and focus on our freedoms.

Once we can set aside self-judgement, shame, and comparison our souls learn how to soar.

The practice below is a gentle, resorative practice designed to cultivate a sense of tenderness to the parts of ourselves that may interfering with our divine worth.

Enjoy-

Susan

I like routine. The predictability feels comforting. When I learned about the nine predictable obstacles that we will come up against over and over in our life journey, I felt relieved.

Relieved to know these are common experiences that arise in life.

Now, when I sense one or more of these obstacles are present, I know how to adjust my yoga practice.

What are the obstacles?

Illness

Dullness

Doubt

Negligence

Laziness

Cravings

Misperceptions

Failure

Instability

Because they do not like to be alone, the obstacles have companions known as;

Mental and physical pain

Sadness and frustration

Unsteadiness of the body

Irregular Breath

Whether we are experiencing one or many of the obstacles or companions, a skilled yoga practice can address these issues in the body and mind.

Yoga therapy offers a personalized practice to bring the body and mind back into balance.

With Kindness and Love-

Susan

My life in tidbits since 2016-

Moved to a small town in Florida.

Husband retired from the Air Force unprepared for life outside of the military; the military system is not set up for this.

Kids move from homeschool to public school.

Finally, we felt like we were getting settled and Ken was ready to start a job outside of the military.

Hurricane Michael came on the first day of Ken’s new job.

Our town was basically destroyed and our house was damaged.

The kids and I went to Chicago to live for several months while Ken rented a room and started his job.

After 4 months or so in Chicago, we went back to Florida and stayed in two different rentals two hours away from our home so I could supervise the work on our house.

During this time, I was high-functioning regarding life’s duties, while at the same time experiencing emotional pain, burnout, loneliness, and a general sense of internal uneasiness and disconnection.

My yoga practice and teaching fell to the wayside.

As I began to find my yoga practice again, I started to heal. My body remembered the grounding, connection, openness, resilience, and buoyancy a yoga practice cultivates and supports.

Yoga therapy offers a personal practice focusing on emotional and physical needs.

A practice offering stability that is frequently lost during life transitions.

While I am finishing up my practicum hours, I am offering 5 one hour sessions for $200. I have two openings left. I can be reached via email susankotelman@gmail.com and text 850-340-3633.

With love and kindness-

Susan

For the last year, I have been training to become a certified yoga therapist. I am offering individual sessions for a special price while I meet my mentoring hour requirements.

First, let me share what yoga therapy offers.

Through physical yoga practices and the integration of yoga teachings together we will establish an individualized daily rhythm.

Together we will cultivate a yoga practice to meet your physical and emotional needs.

Together we can reduce symptoms, improve function, establish appropriate goals, and work toward a renewed sense of empowerment.

What are sessions like?

Sessions are one hour via Zoom.

We start with a check in for 15-20 minutes.

Then we move into an individualized yoga practice to support your physical and emotional needs.

The last 10-15 minutes are an integration period.

My offering is the following:

Each session is $50 with the option to prepay for 5 sessions at the cost of $200.

I can be reached via email susankotelman@gmail.com or text 850-340-3633

With Gratitude-

Susan

I have been in a funk. Something feels off. Is it the weather, the time of year, my age, my living situation, or a combination of everything? Honestly, I am not sure. What I do know is that using cognitive reasoning to figure out what it is will likely be a waste of time. I will spend too much time in my head and not enough time connecting to my body.

Sometimes the way to feeling a sense of ease, peace, and home lies simply in the breath. In my yoga community we have been working with mettas. Metta is a meditation to bring about feelings of loving kindness.

Sitting in a comfortable seat, closing the eyes, evening out the breath, and reciting in my mind:

May I be at ease-

May I be at peace-

May I be at home-

Breathe for several cycles:

I am ease-

I am peace-

I am home-

Breathe for several cycles:

Ease

Peace

Home

Each stage can be repeated several times.

What I know is that whatever this funk is and wherever the root cause, this metta has been lifting the darkness.

Susan

Riding my bicycle, walking on the beach, teaching a yoga class, playing with our dog, and on my mat practicing yoga are times when I have felt like I am in the flow of life. I am not trying, controlling, or thinking….I am just doing. This is when I am connected to my Inner Self. The indestructible and never leaving Self.

The practice of yoga subtracts that which interferes with our ability to see and move from our Inner Self.

Who am I without my conditioning?

How is it when I leave my essence?

What takes me away?

What brings me back?

How might it be to live our daily lives with these questions in mind? What if a daily morning yoga practice allowed us to connect with our Inner Self if even just for a moment? How would our lives look different?

Yoga has changed my life in many ways.

Without my conditioning, I know my value. I know my worth. I understand why and where my actions come from, both helpful and unhelpful. I feel the connection we all have to one another and our collective responsibility. I know how to nurture myself to truly nurture others.

When I leave my essence, I feel lost. I feel agitated. I worry. I do not know my value. I look for ways to numb myself.

So many things can take me away; food, television, social media, unhelpful thoughts, shopping, too much time indoors, and the list goes on and on.

Things that bring me back are my yoga practice, supportive community, drinking water, eating protein, going for a walk, playing with our dog, meditation, and my yoga practice. Yes, I meant to list it twice.

A skillful, individualized yoga practice is indeed life changing. I share this with an immense gratitude for my many teachers, mentors, community, and friends.

Susan

Our bodies hold our felt sense of experiences. A certain taste, a familiar scent, or a song and we are transported right back to a memory. It is the smell of the library that sends me right back to when I was a little girl. I spent most of my summers riding my purple bicycle to the library. My books were placed carefully in my flowered bicycle basket as I rode with anticipation to see what books my Gramma, the local and best children’s librarian, had set aside for me. I remember feeling free, happy, well-cared for, safe, and loved on those days.

Several months ago, I shared this memory with a fellow classmate in yoga therapy training. We were having a practice session with each other and I was the client. She lovingly and expertly took me through a yoga practice that included this memory. While I was in Warrior 1 pose, she spoke of the freedom, safety, and love I felt during those bike rides to the library. She reminded me of the love my Gramma had for me as she chose what books I might like to read next. Hearing those words, while my body was firmly rooted in Warrior 1 pose, was like a switch had been turned on inside of me. My adult self was filled with a sense of safety, love, and freedom. That memory from my childhood was alive and well inside of my cells.

The recall of that memory as an adult, during my yoga practice, is still with me today. That felt memory has a bigger space inside of my body. Our bodies remember. For many of us, the traumas we have experienced are taking up more space than we realize.

A skillfully led yoga therapy practice can help to access those deeper meaningful experiences and allow them to expand. At the same time, we can access the more hurtful held memories by using our breath and bodies to move through them. They will no longer reside in the deepest parts of ourselves. Our bodies know the way.

This is yoga therapy.

Susan

This year I recommitted to choosing a word to represent and remind me of my purpose. My word is Consistency. One of the eight limbs of yoga consists of the Niyamas (guidelines and observations) to living. Tapas is the third Niyama and is defined as self-nurturing discipline. Many women my age have spent decades giving their all to caring for others while putting their needs last on the list. When committing to Tapas, starting with well-being commitments helps to set the foundation to foster personal growth.

I belong to a yoga based women’s wellness program called Hunger, Hope, and Healing founded by Sarahjoy Marsh. We use Tapas to tend to what we call the Body Dashboard.

Nourishment- Balanced Blood Sugar

Heart Rate Up- Clean out the Pipes for 20 minutes

Air On Skin- Outside time, Interact with Plants, Look out your Window, or Watch a Nature Show

Elimination- The Obvious, Laughter, and Crying

Hydration- Water with Lemon

Right Brain Activities- Color, Paint, Pottery, Dancing, Write, Play Games, Music, and Reading

Deep Rest- Create a Sleep Hygiene Routine

Consistency with the Body Dashboard items is part of the path to living from our highest selves on a regular basis. Some of the ways I know I am living from my wisest (highest self) look like this:

I am eating more protein.

I am sleeping through the night.

I naturally pause before reacting to something that is surprising or hurtful.

I feel in touch with my intuition.

I am not easily overwhelmed.

My time management is on point.

Practicing Tapas along with a regular yoga practice consistently nurtures my body, spirit, and mind. The unimportant things fall away and I am able to meet my challenges and deepest truths with my inner wisdom.

Susan

I have been practicing yoga for 14 years and teaching for 10 years. In 2018, I found myself in one of the most challenging years of my life. I took a step back from teaching and lost my personal practice for awhile. Eventually, my life became unmanageable and I was looking for support. As I considered my options, I came across a program called Hunger, Hope, and Healing founded by Sarahjoy Marsh. Sarahjoy was one of my teachers during my initial 200hr yoga teacher training and I had attended a few of her workshops. Because of the pandemic, her offerings were now online. I was overjoyed and immediately signed up for Hunger, Hope, and Healing, a women's wellness program for disordered eating based in the teachings of yoga.

As I began to find my personal practice again, I was reminded of the stability, insight, groundedness, and peace that is yoga. I signed up for Sarahjoy's yoga psychology program and then her yoga therapy program. I remembered the importance of having mentors and community with shared goals and ideas. Over the last two years, I have felt myself becoming whole again.

With every cell of my being, it is my belief that in order to fully address our emotional well-being, the body must be included in the process. This blog serves as a reminder to myself to cherish yoga in my personal life and share what I know with the intention of contributing to the greater good.